3:49pm
death and memory
memory as transcending individuality
how can the end feel this near so far away
I am haunted by the possibility that this is it
nothing "magical" nothing metaphysical
nothing before or beyond
just the routine miracle of cells working together and then
suddenly not
lights out
eternal decay and rebirth through soil, tree, nutrients
I think I'll be going soon
I undulate like the ripples of the ocean
like the ripples of space-time
quiet soft reprieve in knowing
I cannot be created, nor destroyed
and wherever "I" go
I will not be gone
can only hope I journey so completely
that my remnants will travel the universe for billions of years
as escaped hydrogen
or swallowed by the bulging sun
before it explodes and
sends me out in gold and diamonds
can only hope I find some black hole
go beyond the reaches of light itself
find some other existence